Today

Today I was minding my own business, just fucking around, when I decide to let my pissy dog out into the backyard to piss. It wags it's tail and some wet flies off it's leg. The little fucker had already pissed in the house! I didn't really give a fuck, and left it's puddle of piss, the location of which I have no clue of, for someone else to clean up. Anyways, so I let this goddam dog out back, and a thousand of these hellish crane flies come charging through the door like outsides an waterless cup, my house is a mouth, and they're ice that has just been tapped free. I was stunned, to say the least. "Fuck no," I thought. Just read about the fuckers in that link. They practically live to lose their legs at every chance and to die in or around shit you use daily. I spent the next hour picking them from my walls and ceiling, and after having a writhing mass of them in my hand, I opened the door to throw them outside. Not only did the ones I just release 180 in air and swarm back inside, every last crane fly in the entire county came in too. I eventually quarantined the room and left the shitiness locked behind the door for someone else to deal with. Story of my life.